Pretty Kings Read online

  I frown. "If I follow Bambi I’m going to be a rich woman anyway."

  "Let me explain something, if Bambi finds out you told me about that deal you're cut off for good. Giving you a piece of the pie will be the last thing on her mind. I don't know if you are aware or not, but Bambi is a trained killer. A murderer. Now that I think about it you may want to give some serious consideration to taking her out before she gets you. Because even when I break you off, once she finds out about your betrayal, you're dead to her. She’ll see to it."

  "I don't want any money," I tell her trying hard to not think about life without my family. "I just want to go on with my life."

  "Than you're a fucking fool," she tells me. "You need this money to start all over, and there's no shame in that." All I can do is cry. "Scarlett, relax. There's no need in you crying anymore, you made your decision, and you’ve chosen sides. It’s time to play ball now."

  When I remember how Bambi killed that man in her car, I think I'm in way over my head. Not only that, but she took a bullet in the hand like a G. I’m not sure about this. She is a soldier. What was I thinking? I don't have anything to protect myself with if Bambi does step to me. Prior to her soldier friend showing me how to shoot a gun, I didn't even know how to use one. I realize immediately that I need protection.

  I clear my throat and ask, "Do you have a gun?" I look into her eyes. "I need to be able to protect myself from Bambi."

  "Of course I do," she grins. "And, if you decide to use it, it will be our little secret."

  ****

  When I walk into the abuse meeting the room is dark and dank. Nothing about it is welcoming and I wonder if the participants prefer it like that to hide their shame, and guilt. I know I do.

  I walk past an older white lady and a man, and sit in the seat in front of them. Everyone seems to be looking at the lady who is speaking in the middle of the floor. She's black, probably about my age. She seems scared and I focus on her voice.

  "It started when I was fifteen-years old, but continued all the way up to my eighteenth birthday. My mother came home drunk most days, and I can't recall any happy days in my household." Her head drops along with her voice. She looks out into the crowd. "At first she would tell me to slap her, for no reason at all. When I would do it, she'd ask me to do it again, and again. She would smile when I would do it too, like she got off on it or something," she's crying. "I think she loved pain. But about fifteen slaps later, she would hit me hard and ask me to fight her. I-I can't do this…” her voice trails off.

  "It's okay, honey," the older lady behind me says. "It's okay. Let it out."

  The talking girl looks back at the older lady behind me and smiles. "Thank you," she says. She clears her throat and starts talking again. "My mother would make me kiss her, and stuff like that. Her mouth always smelled like cigarettes and dirty men. I can still smell her now." Heavy tears exit her eyes and she swipes them away. "When I was eighteen I left her house, and moved in with this older man. He was nice to me, he just drank a lot like my mother. I was use to it by then though. I guess you can say I had experience in how to treat drunks. But after six months of staying with him I got pregnant. I loved my baby more than anything at first. That was until she started crying all the time. I couldn't take the cries," she places both hands over her ears. I immediately can identify with the feeling. "So I shook her hard. She was only five months at the time. She died the next day...on a Sunday. That's all I can say for now," the woman quickly walks away and a few people touch her softly as she rushes by on the way to her seat.

  A white man with a long gray beard stands up next. "Anybody else?"

  I feel like he is talking to me. There is nothing more I want to do than to talk to someone about my experience. I didn't even know I was standing when I first got up. I move to the middle of the floor and turn around and face the crowd. Everyone seems nice and welcoming and I appreciate it.

  "My name is Carolyn Wells," I say. I know it’s a lie but I still feel the need to protect my identity. "When I was younger, around ten years old, I was sent to my aunts house while my parents were out of town. For reasons I still can't figure out today she hated me. Very much. She did a lot of things to taunt me, but one of the things I remember was how she use to drown me.

  I clear my throat. "She had this big silver sink in the basement. She use to fill it with cold water and ice cubes. I can’t understand why the ice cubes. Never could. She would put this step stool in front of the sink, and make me step on it. I begged her not to force me to do it but she never listened. She'd put my head over the sink, climb on the stool and sit on the back of my neck. A few times she would have to revive me because I would pass out and couldn't breathe."

  Suddenly the memories make me scared and I feel lightheaded. I'm trying to stay on my feet, but my legs feel like Jell-O. I black out.

  BAMBI

  I’m already irritated before going into my house. Why, because I see Bunny’s car parked in my driveway, which means she’s inside somewhere. When I open my door, I notice two navy blue suitcases in the foyer. I throw my keys on the table next to the door, and walk toward my bedroom. On the way there, I catch Bunny walking out. Luckily I predicted that she might be coming back to snatch some more money, so I transferred it from Kevin’s safe to mine. Although I would be a millionaire soon, if something went wrong I needed that cash to get on my feet.

  “I see you took the money out of the safe,” she says.

  I try to conceal my pleasure, but I’m smiling anyway. “What are you doing in my house, Bunny?” I ask. “You got your allowance already.”

  “Correction,” she grins walking around me. “What are you doing in my house? My name is on this deed, remember?”

  “Unless the house is transferred out of Kevin’s name, then this house belongs to me.”

  “You’re right, but I spoke to Kevin today and he said it was okay for me to move in until they finish the renovations on my home. So I’ll be here for about a month.”

  “Bunny, what the fuck is wrong with you? I know for a fact that Kevin didn’t say you could move in here. Why do you get a kick out of antagonizing mothafuckas? Go back to your own miserable life and leave ours alone already.”

  “What do you mean when you said Kevin didn’t say that I could move in here? If you don’t believe me, call him.”

  I don’t move. She has me in between a rock, and a hard place. But, if she knows he’s not alive why isn’t she telling the rest of the family? Or the police? What does this bitch really want?

  “I’ll call Kevin tonight, Bunny,” I say. “In the mean time you need to back off. Way off. Because you don’t know the kind of person I can be. I’m warning you but to tell you the truth, I’m getting tired of talking to you.”

  Bunny clutches the blue Celine bag on her shoulder and says, “I’ll be back later to bring the rest of my things. So you and the girls need to make room.” She smiles at me. “I’m not sure, but something tells me we’re going to be the best of friends.” She leaves out of the door and slams it behind herself.

  I grab her suitcases, and surprisingly they are very light. I walk them to the back of my house and toss them into the backyard. Because even though we are going to move out of here, and get another house, I don’t want her shit near me before time. I can’t sleep one night with her here.

  When my personal phone rings in my room I rush to answer it. “Hello.”

  “Hello, baby girl,” my father says. “Your mother told me you picked up Jasmine from her house the other day but I missed you. I was in town from Japan and was sad about it. How are you?”

  My father’s voice sounds more loving than it usually is although still stern. He’s very serious and his example of love and my mother’s is two totally different things. Although my mother has moved in with a woman, which I despise, and he’s remarried, they are still best friends who speak everyday. I wish I had that kind of bond with my father.

  “Hey, daddy,” I say dryly. I really d
on’t want to talk to him.

  “How are you?” He repeats. “Your mom says you were shot.”

  “So you’re calling to ask me about mom? Or my gunshot wound?” I sigh. “If you are don’t worry about it. I’m okay. Besides, I haven’t spoken to you in almost a month.”

  “I want to talk to you, but–”

  “But what, daddy?” I cut him off. “You were avoiding me all my life. Why talk to me now? I know you blame me for what happened in the army, and I can never forgive you.”

  “I’m not blaming your for anything, Bambi,” he says. “I just think you have the facts wrong. For heavens sake, it’s been seventeen years already. You have the home and the lifestyle you always dreamed about. Why are you still crying over spilled milk?”

  “Spilled milk? Spilled milk?” I yell louder. “My life was ruined by twenty-two men, daddy! Twenty-two! I had to have my vagina reconstructed, and its still not right—,”

  “Bambi, I don’t want to hear this—,”

  “You will hear this,” I cry. “Twenty-two men violated me in the worst way imaginable! And I called on you for support and you let me down. You know who came to my rescue, Sarge! It’s because of you I will never be the same.”

  “So you’re blaming me for the PTSD you suffer with too? Or let me get this straight, you’re blaming me for the black outs. No I know what you’re blaming me for, for being discharged from the military.”

  “You need to know for as long as I live, that I will never forgive you for abandoning me. Ever.”

  ****

  17 Years Earlier

  Saudi Arabia

  It had been three weeks since her friend Tatiana Clark was murdered by Desseray. All Bambi wanted to do was go home; instead she was transferred to another platoon to complete the mission. This was one of the largest platoons with over thirty soldiers.

  Bambi hated her new platoon mates mostly because of the lustful looks they gave her when she walked around. Unlike Desseray she didn’t socialize with any of them. She kept to herself and she liked it that way.

  After a long night, Bambi was sitting on the side of a tank thinking about her life. She was depressed, because at Chow-Time one of her platoon mates received some pictures from her family and they appeared to have a fabulous life. Now she wanted the same, and wondered if enlisting in the army was in vain after all. Her thoughts were halted when she was tapped on the shoulder from behind.

  Bambi looked up and was staring into the blue eyes of Private Harvey. “Hey there, soldier. I been looking all over for you.” Without warning he struck her in the face with a closed fist, and when she woke up she was in a different place.

  Bambi was inside of a tent, naked and on the sand floor. Her wrists and ankles were tied with four separate ropes, which four soldiers pulled to hold her down. A green sock was stuffed in her mouth, and rope held it in place. Every time she tried to move, they pulled on the ropes harder and she felt as if her limbs would be torn out of the sockets.

  One by one the soldiers boarded her body as they took swigs from the liquor bottle being passed around the tent. This was happening for many reasons. First some one paid them, and secondly Bambi was what they considered a tease. She would walk around the camp like she was cute, and better than everybody else, and would not speak to them. They figured this would put her back in place.

  The first soldier wasn’t as rough. He took time prodding her vagina. When he lay on top of her he shivered, and said I’m sorry in her ear persistently. His kindness was the last compassion she was shown, before the rest of them ripped her apart. Some went into her vagina and released their semen into her body, while others took her anally.

  One flipped her over, and stuck a metal pole into her rectum, while he raped her vaginally. Two soldiers thought it would be cool to rape her together and take pictures, so they did their thing. She was burned with cigarettes, pissed on, shit on and humiliated. When she looked across the room, she saw Desseray standing observing everything. But instead of enjoying the view, Desseray looked horrified at what she was seeing the men do.

  “Help me,” Bambi said in a weak voice.

  Instead of helping Desseray turned around and walked out of the tent.

  After they witnessed how much damage they caused, they made plans to kill her. So they beat her until she was unconscious. They took her body to a remote part of the camp, and dug a sand hole. They threw her body inside. She was left for dead, until Sarge found her alive.

  ****

  Fuck my father! He will never understand or accept what happened to me. My father was a lost cause. I’m tired of begging for his love, or needing him to validate me. If he wanted to choose the army over me, than he needed to live with his decision.

  “Dad, don’t call me again. I’m done with you. Stay the fuck out of my life.”

  “Bambi, be careful with me because whether you like it or not, I’m still your father and I deserve respect.”

  “You deserve nothing from me,” I tell him. “So stay the fuck out of my life.”

  BAMBI

  I’m in my closet on the floor thinking about tomorrow. I just removed a cool bottle of vodka from the freezer and downed half of it already. I don’t know what it is about drinking, but nothing comes close to the sensation I feel when it rolls over my tongue, and slides down my throat. Immediately my problems go away.

  I’m just about to take another swig when I hear our doorbell ring. Where the fuck is everybody? I stand up, and at first lose my balance, and fall into the clothes inside my closet. When I try to get myself together, some of my clothes come down and topple on my head and floor. I pull myself up again, and the entire gold rod holding the rest of my clothes come crashing down. Finally I crawl out of my closet and to the door. Maybe I’m drunker than I realize. Let me keep it real, I’m a fucking mess.

  When I open the front door, Cloud is looking down at me. “Bambi, what the fuck is going on?” He picks me up and walks me to the couch in the living room. “Why are you on the floor?”

  I don’t answer him. Instead I put my face into my hands. My head hurts. My temples throb. “Cloud, now is not a good time for you to be here.” I look up at him. “Can you come back later please?”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Bambi so don’t even ask me. Have you been drinking again?”

  “If I did, would it make you feel better about yourself?” I ask him.

  “Why would you say some slick shit like that to me?” He asks. “I’m asking you if you’re drinking because I give a fuck about you. Ever since that shit happened four weeks ago you’ve been carrying the shit out of me. Like you don’t have love for a nigga no more. And, I’m sick of it.” He looks at my hand. “And why isn’t this gunshot wound bandaged? Covering it with a big ass Band-Aid is not sanitary or safe. It can get infected.”

  “Cloud, can you please leave?” I beg him. He’s so annoying. “All I want to do is be left alone right now. I don’t need all of this bullshit from you or anybody else. Besides, I heard enough from my father already.” It’s funny; two of the most important men in my life, my husband and my father, broke my heart.

  Cloud sighs. “Okay, before I bounce I need to know where Kevin is? A few dudes been by my shop that I haven’t seen before. They didn’t seem too nice.”

  “What were they saying?”

  “That the Kings ain’t been making deliveries. Shit like that,” he looks at me. “So you see that it’s important that I get a hold of him.”

  “Why don’t you call him yourself?”

  “I did but he wouldn’t answer the phone for me. So I figure he’ll answer the phone for you,” he touches my leg, and I push his hand off. “I’m sorry, Bambi. I wasn’t trying to violate you.”

  I get off of the couch and rub my forehead. “Cloud, you aren’t violating me. I’m just trying to get my mind together that’s all. I have a lot of things going on and I don’t need this right now.” I walk to the door and open it. “Can you please leave?”

  Clou
d slowly walks toward me. “Not sure what’s going on, but I’ll say this, I’m here for you, Bambi. But, I can’t be if you don’t allow me.” He runs his hand across my face and I slap it away. I don’t deserve affection right now so I don’t want it…from anyone, especially him.

  “What is it with you, Bambi?” He asks.

  “You already know,” I tell him. “I needed you that night.”

  “The night you were dressed as a dude, and I found you in the club?”

  “Fuck no,” I yell. “And, stop playing with me because you know what I’m talking about. I needed you that night and you chose Kevin over me. I thought we had a bond, I guess I was wrong.”

  “I know, Bambi and I regret my decision for turning you away every day of my life,” he says putting his hand over his heart. “Kevin is my cousin. But, it doesn’t stop me from being in love with you though.”

  I’m stunned. I was going to say one thing to him but now I’m stumped. I gotta tell him the truth now, because I never looked at him like that. “I don’t love you back, Cloud. I’m sorry and I hope I didn’t leave you with that impression. The only thing on my mind is Kevin and my family. I hope you understand.”

  “I never meant to pull you away from him, I just figured after what we shared the night I found you in the club, things would be a little different that’s all.”

  “Cloud, I didn’t even finish you off. Get over it already.”

  He turns around without another word leaving me alone. As I walk back toward my bedroom, all I want to do is take a bath and jump into bed. Instead my phone rings. When I answer its Avery. “Bambi, I’m sorry to bother you again, but is Kevin available? I been calling him for days and he hasn’t answered the phone.”

  “Kevin stepped out, I can take a message.”

  “Can you tell him to give me a call? It’s very important.”

  “Avery, I’m gonna be honest with you, Kevin doesn’t have time to talk on the phone these days. So whatever you want to tell him, you might as well tell me instead.”