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  Something I hadn’t expected or was prepared for.

  He snaked his fingers inside his grey slacks, and started beating his dick. My eyes widened more and my jaw dropped because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Was he actually doing this in public?

  At first I thought it was just me and that I was seeing things, because when I looked around no one seemed to notice. Not even the woman he was using as his muse.

  As he went to work, still eyeing the lady, he bit down on his bottom lip and jerked harder. It was so obvious now I thought he was going to rip his penis off.

  I was disgusted and fascinated.

  I guess he was making too much noise because the woman finally focused on him and she didn’t seem pleased. “Wait, what the…what the fuck are you doing?”

  Caught, he slipped his hand from his pants, pulled up his zipper and turned away as if he didn’t know what she was talking about. But I could tell by her attitude that she wasn’t going to let the matter rest.

  “Don’t turn your head now, creep!” She stood up and slammed her yellow patent leather purse over his forehead. It cut his skin because he was bleeding on top of his head. Glancing to the front she said, “Jerry, come back here, you not gonna believe this shit!” She looked at The Jerker. “My brother gonna fuck you up! Just wait!”

  Suddenly a large man with arms the size of my thighs stomped toward the back of the bus. His yellow t-shirt seemed too small for his chest and I thought his muscular body would rip the fabric to shreds.

  “This jive turkey was whacking off!” She told Muscle Man.

  “He was what…” Without another word Muscle Man snatched The Jerker out of the seat. Holding him from behind, his arm was nestled in the pit of The Jerker’s neck, his bicep partially covering his nostrils.

  And then we waited. Waited for the driver to reach the next stop and once he did Muscle Man yanked The Jerker off the bus with Hershey and me following closely behind.

  Why was I there?

  I knew it was dumb but I couldn’t mind my business.

  I was wrapped in a sheet and had problems of my own!

  It was weird. Nothing about this man was somebody I wanted to get involved with, yet there I was, watching and waiting for The Jerker’s fate. I stood not too far from the fight, like I was the ghost of Christmas past showing The Jerker his life.

  “Kick his fuckin' ass!” Hershey yelled. “Do it good too, this mothafucka disrespected me!” Although she lent her suggestion it didn’t look like he would stop anyway. I watched Muscle Man pound his face relentlessly, The Jerker’s neck clicking back and forth. At the most I thought he would tire and stop his beat down but then she said, “Kill that nigger.”

  My eyes widened as my mind ticked. This was about to go too far. Yes he was gross and disgusting, but did he deserve to die? Suddenly I remembered I’d stolen a few things last night from Nellie’s house. I did it to be petty but I might be able to save his life.

  I rifled through my purse just as I heard a gun cock. Where did the Muscle Man pull the weapon from so quickly?

  When I found what I was looking for I flashed it and yelled, “Freeze!”

  Hershey and Muscle Man looked shocked, I guess they didn’t know I was there. I raised Nellie’s father’s badge in my hand high like I saw on the movies. When I glanced at it I saw it was upside down and repositioned it right side up. “Unless you want to go to jail don’t shoot.” My voice cracked but I figured they got the message. “I’m a cop!”

  When my sheet fell around my waist, exposing my breasts I started to pick it up. But everything about this situation was dumb so I said fuck it and just let it hang.

  CHAPTER TWO

  BERNICE

  After helping The Jerker, I caught the bus home and of course my mother wouldn’t let me inside. She told me since I was wearing a sheet I should sleep in the streets where I belonged. Who does that to their own child? It’s so fucking stupid! Instead of begging, which I’ve done in the past, I decided to go to my brother Grand’s house even though I couldn’t reach him.

  On the way there, riding the bus, I thought about how I helped The Jerker whose real name is Rufus. He smiled after I flashed my badge, causing Muscle Man and Hershey to run down the block. But he didn’t show much emotion. I helped him up and the only thing he said was, “Thanks hear.”

  Not sure why but something about him I liked although he didn’t show interest. Instead he stood up, looked at me once and stumbled away. It’s just as well, someone that horny is bound to be trouble.

  When I got off the bus and made it to my brother’s street I could hear loud music coming from his house. Mind you it’s early in the morning. Grand has a thing about being surrounded by younger women and since he moved out of our parents’ house, I can’t remember one time when he was alone. He sold heroin out of an ice cream truck, but would spend the money on liquor and women so he hardly had anything left.

  When I made it to his house I kicked a few Coke bottles and other trash out of my path in his yard as I shuffled my way to the front door. I took a deep breath, knocked hard and wasn’t surprised when a light skin girl with a really high Afro opened the door…topless.

  She rubbed her eyes so hard her mascara smeared. “Grand said the party over. Come back tomorrow.”

  She closed the door halfway when I pushed it open and bum-rushed my way into the house. “Bitch, I’m coming to see my brother.” The moment I walked inside I stopped short and looked around. There were so many sleeping bodies lying on the floor it looked like the holocaust. Shaking my head I stepped over them and walked toward the back. “Grand! Grand!”

  Slowly the bodies began to move and moan and Red was still behind me. She turned the music off. “How I know you his sister? You can’t be just walking up in here.” She placed her hand on my shoulder.

  I shoved her so hard she tumbled backwards, her body on top of the others, her crotch hung over their faces.

  “Keep your hands off me.” I continued as I made my way to his bedroom.

  Once I opened the door I smelled what could only be described as crabs from yesterday. There were five bitches on his bed and nestled in the middle was my 27-year-old brother. Slowly he woke up, raised his head, before scratching his bushy mane. “Hey, sis.” He tried to sit up but his head fell backwards like it was too heavy for his shoulders. “What you doing here?”

  “Mama put me out and your phone turned off.”

  He sighed, raised his head and shook it from left to right. “Bernice, you gotta do better. You gotta get your life together.”

  I looked around his room at the foul smelling women, and recalled my trip inside where I was greeted with sleeping naked bodies. He had zero room to talk. “You’re right, but I need your help.”

  “Tell me something I don’t already know.”

  “Stop playing, Grand!” I stomped my foot. “You gotta let me stay a few days.”

  He sighed. “Fuck! Why can’t you do right by ma? Why you keep putting yourself in a twist and expecting me to get you out? My spot ain’t no rest haven for little girls, Bernice.”

  There he go with that “little girl” shit again. I rolled my eyes and said, “Please, Grand. You let me stay and you won’t even know I’m here. I promise.”

  His body dropped back to the bed, and one of the women, who still looked sleep, placed her forearm on his neck. “You got three days.”

  A sense of relief took over. “Thank you…”

  “Don’t thank me, just remember the rules. Leave my weed alone. Leave my money alone. And don’t irritate any of my bitches, especially my favorite.”

  “Who’s that?”

  I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and when I turned around the redbone who opened the door slapped me in the face.

  ****

  It had been two days and staying with my brother was hell. He had a party every night and there was nowhere to sleep. Not to mention there were never less than ten people in the h
ouse at a time, even if he wasn’t home. I thought I could handle it, even talked him into giving me a week, and then the third day happened and I knew it wouldn’t last.

  I was asleep on the floor in the kitchen, because it was the most private spot in the house. No one ever cooked preferring to stay high. My eyes were closed and I could feel someone taking off my gold bracelets. When I opened them slightly, while still faking sleep, I saw Reds, who Grand called Wet Faye because he claimed her pussy was the juiciest.

  Still, was this bitch trying to rob me?

  “What the fuck you doing?” I hopped up and pushed her so hard, the back of her bush banged against the stove. A cast-iron pan bopped her on the head before her ass hit the ground. When she was on the floor I rushed toward her but she was quicker and charged at me with clenched fists. When I looked into her eyes I could tell what was up, she was high and deranged.

  I was still getting my thoughts together when she brought down her first blow on the side of my temple, and the second on my nose. I wasn’t about to go toe to toe with someone on drugs. So I threw my body onto hers, and tackled her to the floor. With her small frame under mine, I pressed my thumbs as hard as I could into her eye sockets. Her fists opened and she scratched at my hands while screaming loudly.

  Although the house was full nobody came to help, fighting went on all the time but normally didn’t involve me.

  I was so tired of the stupid shit that my right thumb pressed a little harder, until blood and white goo splashed on my hand. Scared I had gone too far, I hopped up and looked down at her. She was squirming, screaming and covering her face.

  “I can’t see!” she yelled bumping around the kitchen. “I can’t fucking see! Help me!”

  As I looked down I knew my stay at Grand’s house was officially over. “I gotta get out of here. He’s gonna kill me.”

  ****

  He’s finer now than I remembered…

  When I ran back into him, the day I poked Wet Faye’s right eyeball out, I figured I would be homeless and out on the streets. But after hanging at the bus stop for a few hours, trying to contemplate my next move, he stepped off the bus.

  He was dressed to impress and the brown bell-bottoms he wore seemed to flow as he made his way toward my direction. I started to get the impression that the man I saw on the bus that day was drunk because this man looked different, although they were the same.

  He stepped so close if he moved too inches more his dick would be in my face. Or as good as he smelled, my mouth. “Thank you, for saving my life.” His tone was soft but his gaze was intense as he peered down.

  I smiled, too goofy to say much else.

  “What you doing?” He looked at the bus and back at me. “You gonna miss your ride.”

  It pulled off anyway before I could respond. It’s a good thing I wasn’t waiting. “I’m not here for the bus,” I sighed, trying to look more pitiful. “I’m just…waiting…”

  He nodded. “You on hard times?”

  “Guess you can say that.” I shrugged as I looked around him, although I wanted to keep my eyes on his handsome face.

  He clasped his hands together in front of him. And although I couldn’t see his eyes I knew they were on me. I felt like he was trying to think really hard before deciding to say anything else. As if whatever he said was going to change his life forever.

  He released his hands. “I came up on a few bucks.” I looked up at him. “Want to get a room?”

  That’s pretty much how it went down. Not a whole lot of squiring about town or nothing like that. After becoming un-benefit with my mother and squishing my brother’s main girlfriend’s eyeball out, I was homeless. Luckily for me this time Rufus was in the rescue business.

  From the moment I took him up on his offer we were inseparable for an entire week, spending most of our time together in a cramped motel room. But he was funny and catered to me so the days flew by. If I wanted something to eat, no matter the hour he would jump up and get McDonalds. If my body ached and I was uncomfortable he would give me a massage or find some Tylenol. And since I was at his beckon call I was fully prepared to be as freaky as he desired but it didn’t go down like that. We made love once, and it was face-to-face, soft and slow. Nothing like I would expect from someone beating his dick on the bus. Maybe he didn’t find me that attractive after all.

  Humph.

  And then there were other times. The occasions that made me shiver when he would sit silently in the room, his chair faced the wall. I made a mistake of touching him on the shoulder once to ask if he was okay during one of these times. He almost broke my fingers, bringing me to my knees. I always wondered where his mind wandered but I learned to leave him be.

  Over the days something else happened. I noticed he wore the same outfit, losing his shiny appeal as time went by. But who was I to complain? I was wearing the same shit too.

  On the fifth day we were in a small diner, me sitting on Rufus’ lap. His hand was under my skirt; his thumb was pressed against my clit as he flicked it back and forth. He had an obsession with doing sexual things in public and I was too afraid to ask why. But as I looked around, embarrassed at the people staring our way I knew I needed to say something.

  “Rufus, I don’t dig this.” I grinned.

  “Dig what…being with me?”

  “No.” I smiled down at him. “Being with you in public.”

  His thumb stopped moving and he pointed at the seat across from him. I quickly sat in my own chair and stared. “Can I ask you something…when we first met you were…you were…satisfying yourself on the bus. Why?”

  “No I wasn’t.” He frowned.

  I laughed, thinking he was playing but another look into his eyes told me he was serious. “Rufus, I saw you beating your dick, right before that man killed you and I saved your life,” I whispered.

  He picked up the menu on the table. “What you want to eat?”

  We placed our orders and then silence stood between us for a while. I noticed that his moods were fleeting, never staying the same for longer than an hour.

  I put my hands on the table and he placed his on top of mine. I noticed the front of his shirt was speckled with small spots. “You gonna be my wife and have my son.” Since he was just trying to fuck me in public I was surprised at his announcement.

  “A son huh?” I laughed. “That’s kind of specific don’t you think, Rufus?”

  His smile went away and he released my hand. His personality shifted to something weird again. Not mean, not happy…just weird. “You ever been to Uranus?” His eyes were wide.

  With a dropped jaw I said, “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “You ever get so high nothing matters? So high everything in the world is peaceful?”

  I shook my head so hard I thought it would twist off. I barely drank alcohol so drugs were out of the question. “I don’t fuck around, you know that. Besides I’ve seen what it does to people.”

  “Then you a fool.” He frowned, slamming his hand on the table. “Dr. King dead. Malcolm X dead. Black people treated like third world citizens in America. How can a man shake it all ‘cept he high?”

  “That’s not my thing that’s all,” I said softly, scratching my arm. “But more power to you…get high.”

  He didn’t seem appreciative of my statement. His upper lip twitched and when he glanced to his right he saw a black dude with a low cut staring at me. He had been for some time but I tried to ignore him. He seemed business-fied—wearing a navy blue suit with a black briefcase at his feet.

  “You got a problem with your looking space, blood?” Rufus asked the man as his fingers crawled into two fists that sat on top of the table, knocking at the wood.

  I swallowed my embarrassment and looked down. I wasn’t sure but something told me it wouldn’t end well.

  “Damn, brother,” the Businessman said. “If you gotta check every cat who looks at your lady, maybe you don’t deserve to have her.”
r />   I never saw anybody move as quickly as Rufus. And as long as I lived I hoped to never see anybody fly that quickly again. The rage that hovered over him as he approached the Businessman was strong. He kicked and pounded the stranger like he was trying to kill him, and even took to whipping him over the head with his own briefcase.

  Where was this rage with Muscle Man?

  When I saw the man’s skin open up, his lip bleeding and his cheek swelling, I knew I had to do something. “Rufus, please don’t!” I yelled approaching him. I pulled on his shoulders, which were as stiff as a brick wall. “You’re gonna kill him!”

  “That’s the plan, woman!”

  When I saw a waitress pick up the phone and make a call I knew it was only a matter of time. I had to act fast or the man would be dead and Rufus in jail. I smacked him so hard Rufus turned toward me, hand open like he was going to hit me back.

  “Somebody called the cops, Rufus! Let’s go, please.”

  Rufus blinked a few times, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the diner. I could hear the police sirens in the air. When we ran outside I knew it was a matter of time before they caught us, besides, we were on foot.

  I thought all was lost until he dragged me toward a white man getting ready to step inside a brand new yellow Chevrolet Vega. When the man wasn’t looking Rufus placed his hand under his shirt and approached him like he had a gun. “This a stick up! Give me the keys!”

  The White Man’s face turned beet red as he tossed the keys to me. Automatically I opened the car door, jumped behind the driver’s seat while Rufus slid into the passenger’s. It was like second nature. Once things were set into motion I became his bottom bitch as I pulled away from the scene. Through the rearview mirror I could still see the man holding his hands up, except now he had a wet stain on the front of his pants. Maybe he pissed himself.

  “Say, baby, you are out of sight!” Rufus said leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. “In a crisis you come through. That makes you a keeper.”